OFF TOPIC FORUM - Full support for tomfoolery, zaniness, and other forms of monkery. One line posts and ambiguous titles are welcome. Get your Haw Flakes in here.
I think I've tried everything on that list, even the basil seed drink...
It wasn't very good, but probably better than Bird's nest drink with real white fungus...
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
1 half-gallon of 2% milk,
1 carton of eggs,
1 quart of orange juice,
1 head of romaine lettuce,
1 2 lb. can of coffee,
1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."  The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.  She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
I'll direct you to my rum post in the other forum. I'll add onto it as I get more time. I have a lot of the "just got back gotta catch up" sorta things to do.
Two strangers, a man and a woman, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they are tired and fall asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1 A.M., the man leans over and gently wakes the woman and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," the woman replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Now, get your own fucking blanket!"
