I used to go to the Redmond Athletic Club last summer but it was way too expensive and I had to deal with people that used the awesome power of slightly mild effort when they exercised. What I mean is that at the RAC I got tired of waiting for these people, mostly women, to finish "using" the equipment. I've frequently seen women, ok one woman in particular, use a bench press machine using 10lbs that took about 45 seconds per set of 8 and then rest for 3-5 minutes while not getting up from the machine. 10lbs on a benchpress machine is less than 10lbs using a barbell if there was one that was that light due to the mechanical advantage that the machine gives you. Anyway, They would do this for multiple sets....and it got fucking annoying so I said "nice" things to them - the men took it as me being a little pissed off and the women just thought I was being overly rude - but what the fuck! I want to use the fucking machines and people are just sitting there doing nothing! Why not get your soft pudgy cottage cheese ass off the fucking thing and stand somewhere else to "rest" so people like me don't have to wait for 15 fucking god damned minutes for you to finish your "exercise." I mean come on, 10lbs?!?!? What's the point...an unhealthy 5 yr old midget girl could handle that if only her arms were long enough.
However, even with the RACs annoying members I paid for yet another month. But then a few days later Jonathan picked me up from the hospital because of a ill-fated BMX event. Heh, they thought I had been in a car accident because of the amount of impact trauma I had sustained - and they x-ray'd my entire body...like 100 times or something stupid.
Anyway this is when I began a new exercise/diet program where I was VERY serious about following a VERY unstrict diet of beer, whiskey, pain killers(oxycodone!), pizza, potato chips, and extreme laying about on couch and bed. It was actually pretty cool after I got through the first week or so of definitely uncomfortable pain! As my physical mobility slowly improved, friends brought me food and beer!!!!!! Whahaahaaa!!!! I just washed down pain killers with beer or whisky(or both) and then ate pizza and potato chips ALL DAY!!! And what was cool was anytime people came over they brought me more food and more beer! Wait...actually some people just came over and drank my beer and ate my food!!!! Bastards! like Kevin, Beeeeeph, and Ryland!!!! Those taking-advantage-of-invalid-l2icks0r! bastards!!!! Oh wait - Ryland actually brought me some good beer...ok...but he still ate my foood!!!! and was drunk already and broke a fricken kitchen drawer, and a handle to my pantry!!!! Bastard!!!!
Ok, so why am I bringing all of this up? Well, because I got fat and weak. I was unable to do a single push up - which for me was unheard of. I went from being strong and lean to weak and fat recovering from multiple injuries...I was a sad beat down fat wussy bastard and I couldn't fix it because I couldn't exercise....and to top it all off I could not "perform" due to being so physically fucked up in this non-standard relationship I had built up using cocaine and sex as a foundation - so I was abandoned...not to mention I had just recently recovered from a sister dying, wife leaving me, and abandoning a career I had invested 10 years of my life into without anything of true cohesive substance to show of for that whole time. That's the way this shit works though - it's never just one fucking thing...You get fucked from all fucking angles all at once - it's just the way life fucking works.
And what does all this bullshit mean? IT MEANS YOU SHOULD FUCKING DOWNLOAD WINAMP 5.0 AND WATCH DEMOSCENE TV YOU NON-FUCKING DEMO VIEWING BASTARDS!!!!!!!! Just look at the internet TV section and check out the crazy .n2v streaming biniss you ignorant bastards!!!! There are actually three DemoScene TV(and pr0n) streams and they are very cool...so fucking view...NOW!
Alright, that's not really what it means but you should still check out DemoScene TV, featuring many Asm TWO-KAY-ONE demos, if you haven't already because it is pretty damned cool considering it contains Amiga demos as well as PC.
So where was I...Oh yeah...being pathetically depressed and physically inferior while jobless, wifeless, and girfriendless...but I had guns...lots of guns...more on that(guns) later though because I have gotten myself sooooo fucking far off topic I barely remember what the fuck the point was that I was trying to talk about with this stupid drunken l2icks0r! rant...
Oh yeah...now I remember! STEROIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, so the RAC fucking sucks. It's a place for fucking wussy little fucking pussys to go work out ineffectively. The gym I joined is a total fucking single story shit hole by comparison complete WITH substandard heating, and NO air conditioning. It also has two janitor sized closets for mens/womens locker/shower/bathroom and all the equipment is second hand. Some of the treadmills still say "Tukwilla Community Center" hehe! There are no pictures on the wall with some fucking model being portrayed as an athlete with the title "BE STRONG" lettered above him and the "sound system" consists of a single shitty fucking boombox playing the worst the radio has to offer(the RAC would play commercial free techno on many occasions)... All of this makes for a great filter - who'd want to join a fucking sweatstained shit hole like this?
ME!
Why? because I was able to see beyond the superficial and recognize the functional attributes of this wonderful little gym - oh yeah and it was fucking dirt cheap. For the first 10 weeks I kept to myself and hit the bike and did limited strength training because I was still recovering from injury. Eventually I reached the point where I was ready to hit it hard again. Hitting it hard meant heavy wieghts and going till failure. I could not do this alone - I needed help...I needed someone to spot me on the bench press. So one day I went in and happend to witness things I had never before seen in person. Both big and regular sized guys - back in the rear of the gym were going through thier routine with each other. Until that point the most that I had ever seen anyone ever do was 315lbs at the RAC.... These guys were doing more weight than I could immediately calculate. I'd imagine most people would probably be a little bit intimidated but I was only intrigued and impressed at the same time. I introduced myself to everyone and shook the hand of this big guy - his name was Greg because he just finished pressing 500lbs... how could you just stand by and not shake the guys I hand. I talked with them and asked them how the fuck they got to that point. They explained and one of them wrote down their routine for me...weightwise it was scaled down of course and I immediately began utilizing my new found knowledge...heh, benching and unimpressive 165lbs alongside them while they continued up to 510, 515 lbs... I didn't care though and finished all my sets without a spot. 4 sets of 8 @ 165 lbs followed by a 20 rep 135lb "burn out" set. There were also some minor warm up sets that I did before the 4 sets of 8 which included 2 5 rep sets with 45lbs...The funny thing is even though these guys could do crazy weight that was and still is the way that they warm up. I thought it was a little weird considering how much weight they could do but it made things safer by providing you with a good warm up. I am following the 10 week routine and am now on week 3 where my 4 sets of 8 are split into two sets of 175lbs followed by 2 sets of 185lbs. So at the end of all of this I should be above the 215lb max I set with Ryland as my spotter.
OK, so what the fuck does this have to do with STEROIDS? Well, the last time I worked out with these fucking obscenely strong genetic freaks of nature I met this little 5'7" 181lb asian attourney along with a few other guys and their coach. They were getting ready for a meet in 7 weeks - these guys were competative body builders. They asked me twice to compete with them since they didn't have anyone in the 165lb weight bracket but come on! My bench is NOT my strong point - if it had been pull-downs yeah no problem but not bench. So I am working out with them and this little asian and some larger American guy are spotting each other and then it happens the asian guy passes the weight that the larger American guy that looked 3.5 times as strong as him was doing...after every set the gap increased. I was amazed - it got to the point where the asian was fucking POWERING up 335lbs with crazy speed like the wieght was nothing....I was fucking impressed as hell. I both shook the asians hand and spoke with him a bit before I left the gym and he told me that he could actually bench 470lbs. I spoke with the owner before I left and he told me he had seen the asian do 500lbs before...WTF - this fucking guy only weighed 181lbs...I went home astonished - then it hit me. This kind of physical performance didn't make sense - unless he was on steroids.
So I started doing some research...
If you have the money - steroids are fucking easy to attain...any kind you want.... Deca-Durabolin, Dynabolone, Primobolan, Sustanon, Winstrol, Andriol, Clomid, Cytomel, Proviron, Anadrol, Clenbuterol, Nolvadex, HCG, Methltestosterone, Orabolin, L-Thyroxine, etc... There is a fucking shitload of them and you can order them all over the internet if you have the cash.
So what is the most popular? Most Powerful??? Well THG is currently the hot item because it is undetectable in steroid tests. However, Deca-Durabolan seems to be the old favorite... That is the trade name the chemical name is Nandrolone.
This is what the Deca-Durabolan molecule looks like:
Big fucking deal right?
Ok check this androstenediol molecule out:
It's definitely different but extremely similar - this is a steroid hormone and it is legal.
So does the similarity mean that it would behave the same as nandrolone? It's being marketed as such...but is it really a steroid hormone? It's called a prohormone - it's one of the most highly anabolic prohormones that does not have direct conversion pathways to convert into estrogen or DHT(dihydrotestosterone) and without increasing estrogen the chances for gynomastica are not a concern. DHT is supposedly what the FDA has determined to cause hair loss as well. Another similar androgen called Androstenedione was what was used by Mark Mcgwire that set a new record in 1998 for home run hits in a single season surpassing Roger Maris and Sammy Sosa by hitting 70. Mcgwire attributes this success largely to the use of Androstenedione - an inferior steroid hormone that increases estrogen and DHT production and has much lower anabolic effects than the superior Androstenediol.
So is there enough similarity between the two molecules to conclude that if you take the legal latter you will increase testosterone production and therefore get bigger and stronger? I don't know - but consider this similar relationship between caffeine, theophylline, and theobromine:
caffeine/guaranine:
theophylline:
theobromine:
As you can plainly see there are immense similarities. Anyway some info about these molecules. First off you have to forgive me if I don't completely understand this stuff as I only took chem 140 & 150 in college which are inorganic and this is organic chemistry so basically I don't have a fucking clue about what I am talking about it so I'll just fake it based on my common sense understanding.
Caffiene and Guaranine are supposedly chemically identical. Guaranine is derived from Gurana and it is a stimulant just like caffiene but I have read that there are subtle differences that make it uniquie enough to warrant antoher name but the molecular structure is the same...whatever...
Theophylline is the stimulant found in tea.
Theobromine is the stimulant found in chocolate - large doses kill dogs.
Ok, I'm fucking drunk as hell - I don't knopw if I can finish this post ....god damn it's kind of long eh?
Basically what I am getting at is that nobody can deny the stimulant effects that tea has on a person and theophylline does not have the extra CH3 bond that caffiene has yet it still gets you going. Similarly Androstenediol is also missing the CH3 bond that Nandrolone posseses - so does this mean that Androstenediol will do the same thing as Nandrolone but to a lesser degree??? Common sense would make one think so....but empirical data is the only way to know for sure...
Once I have devised an appropriate cycle I will supply myself with the appropriate supplements that containt this hormone and subject myself to it and see what happens.
My understanding of true synthetic testosterone i.e. steroids is that the side effects outweigh the risks however if you are willing to forsake the side effects it's rather incredible in terms of the anabolic effects it has.
For example if you are a dedicated bodybuilder and do everything right you can expect to see a 8lb gain in muscle mass over a 12 month period.
Now if you add ye old Nandrolone you can gain twice the muscle mass in 1/6th the time. Yeah 16lbs in two months...that's two years worth of muscle in 2 fucking months...incredible...and that's why people will deal with the side effects...but what about the legal prohormones? they are legal! they must be less effective...
They also recommended prohormones for men over thirty because as you age your natural testosterone production decreases and after 40 it's pretty fucking pathetic...even though it starts pretty good at 30...and that is who it is recommended for - not teenagers but men over thirty.
It's kind of funny really, as women age the increase their production of testosterone and decrease estrogen. Men as they age increase their estrogen and decrease their testosterone. This is why women grow mustaches when they are older - testosterone increases facial hair and deepens voices... Men seem to get more emotional/sentimental as they age because of increased estrogen and decreasted testosterone. Sad.
Andropause, or male menopause, is the result of decreased testosterone prodcution and is addressed/cured by HRT or hormone replacement therapy and in the case of andropause the hormone is testosterone.
Ok, I'm fucking drunkar dan de skunkar and this is getting way too difificult to explain but I know I got my point accross... I think the poeple I am working out with are steroid babies....I am personally undertaking the infiltration of the steroid world at my local gym to see if I am right and I will keep you posted....
Goood nihgt...
