Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of good things to say about Woody Allen’s latest sex-filled yet completely un-sexy gabber. Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are both good, though they really don’t have a lot to work off of as Allen’s script is atrocious, both in dialog and plot. Scarlett Johansson is her normal uninspired self playing an uninspired woman who goes to Barcelona with a friend (don’t ask why) and gets involved with an artist and his estranged wife. The relationships are lamely unrealistic and not at all helped by the mountains of banal conversation. The acting in the smaller roles by Patricia Clarkson, Chris Messina, and Rebecca Hall (who I really liked in Frost/Nixon) was simply horrendous. If all that wasn’t enough, the voice-over narration and ridiculous ending seal the deal on this package of crap. Maybe I just don’t like Woody Allen, but the guy has got to take step into the present if his films are going to have any shred of relevance in the future.